# A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
# Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
# How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
# Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
# Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
# Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
# No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
# There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
# No one ever says, "It's only a game," when his team is winning.
# The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
# If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
# Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
# I've reached the age where happy hour is a nap.
# Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
# The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
# To err is human, to forgive -- highly unlikely.
# Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Chevette.