Thursday, August 23, 2007

Little Johnny`s Dinner Story

Little Johnny watched his Daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car, and saw Daddy and Aunt Diana in a passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could barely contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother.

"Mommy," Little Johnny exclaimed, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Diana. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Diana a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Diana helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Diana......"

At this point Mom cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an 'interesting' story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the he look on Daddy's face when you tell him tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asked Little Johnny to tell Daddy his story. Mommy listened closely as Little Johnny started telling his story about how he saw the car go into the woods..., then watched Aunt Diana get undressed... , and then Aunt Diana laid down on the back seat....,

and then Aunt Diana and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army!"

Funny Animals

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Great answers :)

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Old Age

At 85 years of age, Morris marries Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Morris should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new, but ged, husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed, and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough, the knock comes; the door opens and there is Morris, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.

All goes well; Morris takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep. After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Morris. Again, he is ready for action.

Somewhat surprised, but nonetheless willing, Lou Anne consents to more conjugal bliss.

When the love-birds are done, Morris kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves. She is set to go to sleep again, but Morris is back again, rapping on the door, as fresh as a 25-year old. Ready for more passion. Once again, they enjoy one another. But as Morris prepares to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a
great lover, Morris." Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says,

"You mean I was here already?"