Saturday, September 15, 2007

The Cure

There was a man who had a wife and she had a problem responding to his desires. This continued for about 6 months. As frustration was welling up within him he decided to see a doctor about his wife's lack of attention toward him.

The doctor, being of the wise kind, gave this man a bottle of pills and said to him, "Now, just before your wife retires give her a cup of milk and slip a couple of these pills in and before you know it she will be more than obliging."

So he goes home very excited and when night comes he offers his wife a cup of milk and slips in a couple of those pills.

He then says to himself, "Now why should she have all the fun?"

So he pours himself a cup and puts the whole bottle into his cup. He takes both cups to his wife in bed and they talk for a bit and drink the milk.

After a half hour, both fall asleep.

Then, the wife suddenly sits up straight in bed, pounds her husband and says, "Darling, Darling! Wake up! Wake up! I need a man now!"

The husband sits up straight and shouts, "So do I! So do I!"

What true love is

Thursday, September 13, 2007


Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do..."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Monday, September 10, 2007

The Insurance Money

Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.

Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table

Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him.... "Herman, you know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"

She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Herman, remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Herman, that diamond ring you promised me? bought it too, with the insurance money!"

Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Herman, remember that blow job I promised you?"

Here it comes....... ...