Really deep thoughts..

# A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
# Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
# How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
# Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
# Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
# Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
# No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
# There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
# No one ever says, "It's only a game," when his team is winning.
# The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
# If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
# Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
# I've reached the age where happy hour is a nap.
# Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
# The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
# To err is human, to forgive -- highly unlikely.
# Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Chevette.

Parfumul

Intr-un tramvai, caldura, aglomeratie mare... O d-na, in picioare, tinandu-se de bara de sus. Alaturi, un batran care nu mai suporta mirosul urat, de transpiratie, venind de sub bratul d-nei:
- Asculta cucoana, ce-i mirosul asta?!?
D-na:
- Este parfumul meu, pe care il folosesc zilnic.
Batranul:
-Si cum se numeste parfumul asta?
D-na:
- Alba ca Zapada si cei 7 pitici.
Batranul:
-Auzi cucoana, cauta bine in cutie, ca mie mi se pare ca unul din pitici e mort!!!!

Great answers :)

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Hysterical :))

Laughing cat