Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunite at a party.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the washroom.Those who remained, talked about their kids.
The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company, at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."
The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went on to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."
The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. He then started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday - a 30,000 square foot mansion."
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the washroom who asked, "What are all the congratulations for?"
One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?"
The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
The three friends said: "What a shame, what a disappointment. "
The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him and he hasn't done too badly either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boy friends."
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Twins
The young girl was seated in her doctor's office.
"Our tests indicate that you are pregnant," said the physician, "and there is every indication that you are going to have twins."
"But how can that be, doctor?" the girl protested. "I've never been out on a double date in my life!"
"Our tests indicate that you are pregnant," said the physician, "and there is every indication that you are going to have twins."
"But how can that be, doctor?" the girl protested. "I've never been out on a double date in my life!"
Electricity
A father and his small son were out walking one afternoon when the youngster asked how the electricity went through the wires stretched between the telephone poles.
"Don't know," said the father. "Never knew much about electricity. " A few blocks farther on the boy asked what caused lightning and thunder.
"To tell the truth," said the father, "I never exactly understood that myself."
The boy continued to ask questions throughout the walk,none of which the father could explain. Finally, as they were nearing home, the boy asked,
"Pop, I hope you don't mind my asking so many questions... "
"Of course not", replied the father. "How else are you going to learn?"
"Don't know," said the father. "Never knew much about electricity. " A few blocks farther on the boy asked what caused lightning and thunder.
"To tell the truth," said the father, "I never exactly understood that myself."
The boy continued to ask questions throughout the walk,none of which the father could explain. Finally, as they were nearing home, the boy asked,
"Pop, I hope you don't mind my asking so many questions... "
"Of course not", replied the father. "How else are you going to learn?"
Friday, September 7, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Helping a cat
One hot August day we found this old straggly cat at our door.
She was a sorry site. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her, and put her in a carrier and took her to the Vet. She had no name so we named her 'Pussy cat". The Vet decided to keep her for a day or so and said he would let us know when we could come and get her.
My husband, the complainer said "OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks."
My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. He calls my hubby El Cheap-O, and my hubby calls him El Take-O.
The next day hubby had an appointment with his Doctor, which is located next door to the Vet. The Doctor's office was full of people waiting to see the Doctor.
The door opened and in popped the vet and announces to my hubby, "Your wife's pussy is finally shaved and clean. She now smells like a rose. And by the way, I think she is pregnant. G~d knows who the father is!"
She was a sorry site. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her, and put her in a carrier and took her to the Vet. She had no name so we named her 'Pussy cat". The Vet decided to keep her for a day or so and said he would let us know when we could come and get her.
My husband, the complainer said "OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks."
My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. He calls my hubby El Cheap-O, and my hubby calls him El Take-O.
The next day hubby had an appointment with his Doctor, which is located next door to the Vet. The Doctor's office was full of people waiting to see the Doctor.
The door opened and in popped the vet and announces to my hubby, "Your wife's pussy is finally shaved and clean. She now smells like a rose. And by the way, I think she is pregnant. G~d knows who the father is!"
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
James Bond in heaven
M sends James Bond on a secret mission to heaven. When M doesn't hear from Bond for over a day, he gets worried and calls up heaven.
The Virgin Mary picks up the phone and says "Virgin Mary speaking. "M asks her if Bond has reached there yet. She replies that he hasn't.
M waits another few hours and calls heaven back again. "Virgin Mary speaking," comes the response. "Is James there yet?" asks M. Again the answer is no.
M is really worried by this time but he waits for a few more hours and then calls heaven back again.
"Hello, Mary speaking !"
The Virgin Mary picks up the phone and says "Virgin Mary speaking. "M asks her if Bond has reached there yet. She replies that he hasn't.
M waits another few hours and calls heaven back again. "Virgin Mary speaking," comes the response. "Is James there yet?" asks M. Again the answer is no.
M is really worried by this time but he waits for a few more hours and then calls heaven back again.
"Hello, Mary speaking !"
Blonde goes Painting
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Marriage proposal
Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, " Will you marry me?"
After about six seconds of ' careful consideration' , she answered "Yes. Yes, I will. "
The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to Their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just Could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to The telephone and called her.
First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I Meant it with all my heart. " Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, " Will you marry me?"
After about six seconds of ' careful consideration' , she answered "Yes. Yes, I will. "
The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to Their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just Could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to The telephone and called her.
First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I Meant it with all my heart. " Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."
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