Friday, October 5, 2007
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Cold Water
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded,rural area of Georgia.
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"
His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before,Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather' s dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car"
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted...
"COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!"
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"
His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before,Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather' s dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car"
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted...
"COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!"
Monday, October 1, 2007
Hillary and Bill go Jogging
Bill Clinton started jogging near his new home in Chappaqua.
On each run he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner each day.
With some apprehension he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most certainly to follow.
"Fifty dollars!" she would cry out from the curb.
"No, Five dollars!" fired back Clinton.
This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days.
He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!" And he'd yell back, "Five dollars!"
One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog! As the jogging couple neared that street corner, Bill realized she would holler her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.
As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner , there was the hooker!
Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past. Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled;
"See what you get for five bucks!?"
On each run he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner each day.
With some apprehension he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most certainly to follow.
"Fifty dollars!" she would cry out from the curb.
"No, Five dollars!" fired back Clinton.
This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days.
He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!" And he'd yell back, "Five dollars!"
One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog! As the jogging couple neared that street corner, Bill realized she would holler her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.
As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner , there was the hooker!
Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past. Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled;
"See what you get for five bucks!?"
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